Joro didn't bother to engage the other members of the crew. Everyone's nerves appeared to be on edge when he came onto the ship and he'd opted to make himself scarce. There were plenty of spots that needed to be checked for damage after the fight. Blaster damage pocked the corridor of the exit ramp and there seemed to be no lack of rubble and debris that needed to be cleared away. Of course, had anyone opted to assist him, they might have heard a few grumbles about the lack of thanks for making sure no one's life had been lost. The inspection took very little time and it appeared that, beyond the damage they'd already suffered, they had no immediate threat to their health from the ship's systems. Everything seemed to be fine to Joro, or at least until he reached the garage.
When the padawan opened the garage doors the first thing he spotted was the pool of dark brown blood near the back of the room. The tangy smell of it flooded his nostils and it was impossible for him to suppress a gag.
"What is...?" He approached cautiously. In the middle of the bloody mess was an arm. The uniform around the sleeve was singed, contact from a lightsaber. It was easy to identify. It was also easy, upon closer inspection, the insignia belonging to his teammate Lt. Chorost.
"Oh...Force f-forgive me." He covered his eyes as the realization struck him that he hadn't seen Eluia among the others.
"It wasn't enough...I couldn't stop them in time."Joro tasted bile in the back of his throat. He turned away from the severed limb on the floor and took several deep breaths to calm his frantic heartbeat. Without a second thought he produced his droid companion and activated him.
"Listen Looner, I n-need you to clean the garage." He didn't bother to explain further, opting simply to point at the bloody mess behind him.
"Please, c-collect the...Grab the...Just take care of it!" Joro moved swiftly passed the buzzing and chirping droid, exiting the garage without a second glance back. Looner turned back to the mess and began his assigned task. Soon enough he received help and, despite some stubborn spots on the deck plates, the garage was in proper shape once again.
***
Joro sat down and settled onto the bunk. His weight sank into the crummy mattress and made the springs sigh in exhaustion. A wave of disgust rolled through he felt his muscles relax.
"We just need to get to Nar Shadaa. If we end this then the Sith will have one less way to hurt us." He assured himself. It was a sobering thought. However, the image of Eluia's arm flashed through his mind, and his eyes fell to the floor.
"I wasn't fast enough..."A deep sense of shame wormed its way through his insides and the greasy little monster inside him, the one that had been plaguing for countless months, tightened its coils around his stomach. He knew
-just knew- that if he'd moved faster then that fight would have been over...and maybe Eluia wouldn't have been so badly injured. Joro knew it wasn't all his fault but, in the end, it simply came down to his own failure. Once again he'd failed and someone else had paid the price for it.
Joro sighed and switched off the lights. For several long minutes he simply sat alone in the darkness, mulling over how he could have done more for the team, or saved them from taking the kind of damage they had. He sat in silence, starting into the deck plating, playing through the fight again and again until, with a long sigh, he simply gave up and laid down.
Meditation required the ability to concentrate; Joro was exhausted. The world fell away and he was asleep in moments.
***
***
Joro shot up with his hand outstretched, soaked with sweat and screaming. It caught in his throat and turned into a frantic gurgle instead. His fingers were twisted, grasping again and again at...nothing. There was nothing there. Just darkness and an incredible pain in his left eye. Joro heaved and panted as he moved his feet to the floor just to make sure he was still on the ship and not back in that forest. Then he placed his face in his hands and silently wept, feeling utterly alone in the darkness.
"Y-you weren't f-fast enough...n-not enough, Joro..."